Power is the ability to make things happen.

We might own the most fantastic kitchen or laundry appliances but without power they do nothing. We might have the coolest car, the fanciest boat or the biggest airplane but without power they go nowhere.

As a kid I was highly interested in power.

I remember getting my first bicycle. It was instant freedom. I had previously been limited as to where I could go by how far I could walk. With my new ten speed bicycle I could suddenly go anywhere in the city and beyond. Fantastic. I also remember being fascinated by money. The coins and the bills themselves were interesting but the real draw was what you could do with them. With enough money you could buy your own ice cream cone or hamburger whenever you wanted. Cool.

Money is power. I recognized that as a kid at an early age.

I remember being surprised to discover in law school that persons who are wrongfully injured are entitled to a payment of money. It initially seemed odd that the loss of a hand, a leg, an eye or the ability to move would entitle someone to payment of money. Losing a bodily part, function or appearance was to lose something that could never be restored. But I evetually realized that the loss or disfigurement of a perfect body is in a sense a loss of power and that we do our best to compensate an injured person for something that can never really be made right; we do this by increasing the power of that person with money. Money is power. It makes things happen. Injunctions can restore power. A decree of specific performance can restore power. But money is often the only kind of power that can be awarded to someone who has lost a kind of power or control in their lives that can never be truly restored.

It all comes down to power.

My life has been a study in power. Money, time, power, control – they’re all interrelated. You can exchange time for money – such as when you work at a job. You can exchange money for time – such as by hiring someone to do your laundry or your yard work. And control? We all want control. Nobody wants to lose control. Nobody wants to be controlled.

I’ve been fascinated with these issues for as long as I can remember. As a kid my interest in money and control was centered on getting around or on getting hamburgers and ice cream. But as a mediator with 30 years of litigation experience under my belt I’m much more focused now on power and control issues in families (such as in probate and trust litigation or partition actions) or in business relationships (such as contract, partner or corporate disputes or quiet title actions). I’m interested in the loss of power which occurs in a highly individual sense (such as in personal injury, medical malpractice or wrongful death cases). And I focus on the loss of power, control and expectation (or disappointment) that is the foundation of many wrongful termination and employment cases.

In litigation we spend much of our time looking in the rear view mirror. We focus on what was said, what was done and what was lost. But as a mediator I spend a lot of time looking though the windshield – what happens if we don’t resolve this lawsuit. I spend a lot of time brokering power and control issues between the parties: how do we appropriately restore a sense of balance, of power and control to those who have lost it? Of a truth, people are sometimes more concerned with power and control than they are with the actual money. This explains why people sometimes say things like “I don’t care how much I get – I just don’t want them to get more” or “it’s not about the money – it’s about the principle of the thing” or “they need to learn a lesson” or “I don’t want them to get away with that.” These are statements made by people who feel wronged, who’ve been offended or who have lost control over an aspect of their lives. Restoring control – or at least restoring a sense of power – can go a long way towards resolving disputes where these kinds of feelings are present.

Recognizing that a loss of power and control is central to many disputes is often a key to resolving them.

Robert Jacobs is a full-time California neutral with more than 30 years of litigation experience.  He believes that parties at mediation are best served when their mediator is prepared, attentive, respectful, engaging and tenacious.  He finds that most parties and counsel who mediate with him are pleased with how their proceedings were conducted and that they welcome the opportunity of mediating with him again.